What I Hate About Evangelism

Gotta say that this puts into succint words my main misgivings about a lot of evangelism I have been involved in.

Things I hate about evangelism:
1. It violates the golden rule - most Christians would not want to be approached by a member of another religion the way Christians approach others in evangelistic attempts
2. It calls the authenticity of relationships into question - are you my friend because you’re really my friend, or so you can convert me?
3. The moment of truth - we think we must identify a “no turning back” point where you pressure someone to make a decision, and if they don’t respond well, that jeopardizes the relationship
4. Asking someone about the Gospel feels like making a pass at them
5. If I like my friends, and want them to continue to be my friends, I have a major incentive not to try to evangelize them

I got to really disliking the way that friendship got turned into something instrumental almost 'I befriend you to change you into a Christian' rather than 'I befriend you because I like you'. I'm reminded that there is no command to evangelise in Scripture merely to make disciples. The evangelism seems to flow quite naturally from bringing changed lives and curiosity together.
It's worth noting that the author goes on to write:

Of course, none of these are evangelism - they’re caricatures, ... Jim Henderson suggests asking questions, and giving people attention (”free attention giveaways”). I would also add hospitality. Those are good places to start, and don’t harm the cause of Christ the way the items in the list above do.

But I think I'd have to add, myself, that these things are principally things that happen when we love other people. The issue then becomes the maintenance of these things even if the person we're befriending doesn't want to know. We have to trust that God is love and that those who live in love live in God.
As one of the commentists shared:

our family was flagged down by a young man whose girlfriend was in labor some thirty miles away. He asked for a ride to be taken to where she was and so we took a chance and did that.
During the thirty miles, we talked about childbirth. We discussed everything from the pain, what actually happens, to how wonderful you feel when you see your child. I never brought up any reference to God during that entire discourse, but as the young man exited our car, he thanked my husband and said, “God Bless you, April.”
Where did that come from? I didn’t evangelize this man, we only listened, talked, and gave him a ride. However, somewhere along the way he sensed that God was in it, and you know what?—He was.

Real evangelism is about spotting where and how the Spirit may be at work and oh-so-gently blowing a little oxygen onto the flame (not too much lest we blow it out -snuff a smouldering wick, even) and letting people live with the next question rather than trampling over them with our armoury of answers.

What we're learning about learning is a help here: it's about finding out what people know, what currently is stirring and encouraging a little growth into the unknown. If you know the jargon; I'm thinking zones of proximal development, here.
Emerging Evangelism � What I Hate About Evangelism: Filed in: evangelism, Christian, critique