Pentecost liturgy, Lord's prayer pattern

I'm currently working on a book of liturgies of the Lord's prayer for personal and group use. One of the services I reproduce here, it being Pentecost; here's the liturgy.

Everliving God, the heavens declare your praise and yet cannot contain your glory. As your children, we fly to you: may your name be kept holy in our heartfelt praise.
Blessèd are you, creator God;
to you be glory and praise for ever!
Your Spirit hovered over the waters of creation and overshadowed Mary at the conception of the Christ, and now the Holy Spirit is shared with us assuring us that we are your children and that you delight in us,
Father In heaven:
Hallowed be your name!
...Prayers and/or songs of praise and thanks may be shared here...
Father God, release your Spirit to brood over the formless voids of human society; conflicted and confused by competing and cacophonous voices, drives and devices. Let there be justice, let there be peace and let there be healing
... prayers or biddings relating to this heading may be added here the leader ending with:
Send forth your Spirit:
And renew the face of the earth.

Everliving Lover of our souls, you draw all people to yourself wooing them Spirit to spirit. We remember before you the work of the gospel as it goes forth and will not return empty ...
... prayers or biddings relating to this heading may be added here the leader ending with:
Send forth your Spirit:
And renew the face of the earth.

Passionately faithful God; Father and Mother to us; may the eternal flame of your Spirit burn in our souls and warm the lives of those whose lives we touch in person or in prayer.
...prayers or biddings relating to this heading may be added here the leader ending with
Send forth your Spirit:
And renew the face of the earth.

Be the wind in the sails of our lives and as we are blown forward by your Spirit may we know your comfort and provision
...prayers or biddings asking for God's provision may be added here the leader ending with
Send forth your Spirit:
And renew the face of the earth.

There have been times when we have quenched your Spirit in our sin or grudge-bearing ....
We ask your help so that we might truly repent and know and offer joyful forgiveness, ....
Send forth your Spirit:
And renew the face of our lives.

Let us attend; Christ breathes upon us the peace and forgiveness of God.
a moment for quiet reflection on our forgiveness.
Father may your Spirit overshadow us us in all our trials: do not let us fall away from you...
...Before God, we think over the coming day...

When we are becalmed
blow us forward into your purposes.
If we grow cold towards your kingdom and righteousness,
Rekindle your love in our spirits.
If we find ourselves tested in a dry place,
Water our souls.

In our living of this day:
yours be the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.