This really articulated how I sometimes feel especially when I look back on the last five years. Being a HE chaplain effectively took me out of church culture on a day-to-day basis [which was my context as a church leader -a vicar]. And I really got to the point of finding a lot of church life, when I went back into it for forays to help out, really painful. Painful because I couldn't imagine why I would want to be part of it both as myself and as a potential coming-in-from -the-outside type bod. It's been really positive to do that.
One of the interesting effects for me has been to notice that it isn't about the style of worship; Some 'cahtedral' style worship is okay while some isn't; some 'contemporary' is some isn't. I think it's about the sense of intregrity vs. 'fleshliness'.
I've come out thinking that I'd rather be in choral evensong than some 'contemporary' worship meetings OR I'd rather be in a coffe-house and multi-media /arty kind of event. ...
Anyway the fasting from church kind of idea really can help to find your bearings. I think the metsphor of addiction to churchiness is very very helpful.
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