Forgiving an accidental death

Another story of forgiving. In this case of a man forgiving the driver of a car which killed his wife. The central part of this seems to be this:

[I]f things had been just a little different I might have killed someone too. So in a certain way, I don’t think that we are that different.

In this I see a crucial move to recognising a common humanity ('not that different') based on a recognition of common frailty ('...just a little different I might...') sometimes expressed as 'there but for the grace of God go I'. In this case the insight seems to have arisen from a conversation in which the potential for himself being at the wheel in such an accident was mentioned -and in fact strengthened by a what-if comparison in that the actual driver was not intoxicated whereas the forgiver had driven under the influence. In that the 'there but for the grace...' dimension was strengthened.

What I found also interesting is the recognition of common humanity in the face of death and loss.

What has become clear to me is that sooner or later we all have to face the reality that we will loose everything and everyone we care about, and that when the time comes, we all have to die alone.

It seems to me that this recognition plays a significant role in framing the issue of loss in such a way as to give it a manageable proportion in the longer term (and this was 3 years after the event). Seeing ourselves modestly, not at the centre of the universe, and seeing ourselves against the tragic threads of life helps us to be emotionally resilient.

I was also struck by these words at the end of the speech.

This world being the way it is, I think it’s best if we spend our days loving each other, doing what we can to be a force of good

It seems to me that this is an attitude consonant with how I understand the relevant clause in the Lord's Prayer (Forgive ... as we forgive, in case you were struggling!). In the context of the will of God and the Kingdom, we know that we are called to love our neighbours. We know from the parable of the Good Samaritan that our neighbour is one who needs our help (or forgiveness). We are called to be in the cycle of being loved and loving -which includes being forgiven and forgiving.

And of course this helps us to recognise the sense in the final gesture of the story.

I walked over and shook his hand, then I gave him a hug and told him it was ok. I did it for myself as much as for him, I think

Forgiving is also about being able to move on and not be defined by the tragedy we are recovering from.
In other posts I have made about forgiveness, all of these elements have in the aggregate been seen. It is perhaps in seeing this that we begin to see the big picture about forgiving. It is about discovering our own frail humanity and our commonality with others. It is about becoming able to let go for our own sakes as well as for others' and about learning to embody lovingkindness even in the tragedies.

The only thing not in this recounting is anger. Quite possibly that was there in the living of the aftermath even if not in the story. After three years, perhaps any anger had abated. Though it may even have been that, living with compassionate attitudes before the incident, had prepared a mental and emotional backdrop which disabled deep and abiding anger from taking root.

Turning vegetarian won't stop hunger -but it'll help

A worthwhile article from priyamvada Gopal -whom I'd not heard of before. I liked her sensitivity borne of her Indian background to the way that diet can be used oppressively and belligerently and so she is right to be wary of diet-based moral highground campaigns: we have probably all encountered food fascists. I hope I'm not one of them, but when people ask me why I'm vegetarian I try to convey something of what Ms Gopal says:

...a report from leading scientists warning that catastrophic food shortages can only be avoided if the world switches to a mainly vegetarian diet in the next 40 years. With many regions like the Sahel in Africa already facing near-famine conditions, 2 billion people already malnourished, and an estimated 2 billion increase in the world population by 2050, a global plant-based diet seems not just desirable but inevitable.

And so she does categorically state that:

 there are strong environmental and health reasons to reduce our dependence on animal farming and for the better-off to drastically cut meat and dairy consumption,

And it is hard to see how that implication can be avoided. The economic power of the global north pull resources away from the economically disadvantaged and this costs lives and health. I find it hard to consider eating meat, knowing that by doing so I'd be contributing to a 'supply system' which is skewed to starve the poor to enable us to eat something that is, ironically, killing 'us' through overconsumption.

But she is right when she goes on to say:

we must resist the temptation to abstractly denote a universal vegetarian lifestyle as the sole or simple answer

Because in an interconnected system it is not as simple as that: do my micro decisions really make a difference? Would a 'much-less-meat' culture guarantee that the resources released actually were re-allocated back to the poor? -or would 'we' find further ways to denude the two thirds world of their daily bread? That last couple of questions really points to the necessity to accompany reducing or eliminating meat from our collective diets by political action to address the accumulation of economic power systematically impoverishing the less powerful and already-poor. As Gopal says "the inequitable commandeering of global resources". And then she expresses well what I have just tried to say:

Wealth concentration generates disparate purchasing power that allows richer nations as well as the better-off in every nation to consume – and waste – a disproportionate share of food, fuel, water and other resources. Arable land itself is put towards profit through speculation, mining and logging, rather than feeding people.

And whether I can make a difference: well, in a small way perhaps, but mostly by encouraging others to reduce or eliminate consumption of meat. At least not eating meat is an everyday way to make a contribution to the solution -however indirect and fraught that is in a complex obliquitous world and it is a way that complements -is even an icon and index of- political effort on behalf of the global poor.
So, while I take issue with her article's title: Turning vegetarian will not solve the food crisis because it looks a bit like she's discounting it and offering comfort to the meat-addicted or insouciant. I do however, agree very much with her main thesis:

The excessive consumption of animal products clearly poses an imminent danger to both planet and human existence. But addressing this cannot take the form of a coercive herbivorous moralism. We need a comprehensive reordering of the global economy and our priorities as human beings to end the limitless scandal that is widespread hunger.

I would have to add, as I have written in my book Praying the Pattern, those of us who regularly prayer "Give us today our daily" bread, must recognise that the normal means that God uses to answer that for those of us in the West are mis-serving and so preventing the provision of daily bread for many in the world. How can we pray 'give us our daily bread' without recognising that 'us' includes all who look to God? And so some of us praying it routinely find that this petition is answered inadequately. And, then, how can we recognise that without beginning to do something to try to redress the balance and enable that prayer to be answered for them as well as us.

Unchurched Lord's prayer

The Worship Well: Word: "Sarah Dylan Breuer of SarahLaughed.net has written this loose paraphrase of the Lord's Prayer, designed for use in services including many unchurched people but suitable for use in a variety of settings."
[This was written for services including many unchurched people for whom the language
of the Lord's Prayer was not immediately meaningful, but who found this very loose
paraphrase resonant in the moment and a means to think about the meaning of Jesus'
words and pattern of prayer.]

Loving Creator
we honor you,
and we honor all that you have made.
Renew the whole world
in the image of your love.
Give us what we need for today,
and a hunger to see the whole world fed.
Strengthen us for what lies ahead;
heal us from the hurts of the past;
give us courage to follow your call in this moment.
For your love is the only power,
the only home, the only honor we need,
in this world and in the world to come.
Amen.

Just published: Before the Ending of the Day

Just published:

Blending ancient and modern, these brief services of night prayer, otherwise known as 'compline', draw our day to a close with God. Comforting ancient words combine with more recent insights and concerns to produce orders of service with variety and spaciousness. The set prayers help us to pray when we are tired and provide a framework to cradle times of reflection on the day that has passed. In these services of prayer, the order of compline has been reorganised to better reflect the pattern of the Lord's prayer

Available both as paper and electronic versions.

Before the Ending of the Day

Lord's Prayer Complines: beta testing

I've been working on some Compline services informed by the Lord's Prayer shape. I'm hoping that you, dear reader, might try them out and let me know 'how they pray' with you. What I'm hoping is that you would be willing to copy & paste and print out these services and to use them for a month or two. I'm not suggesting any particular way of doing this except -obviously- that they be used in the evening at some point before going to bed or going to sleep. There are five orders of service. You could either use them one each day in turn or you could take one order per week or every few days, depending on your own routines.

Abbey Nous: Lord's Prayer Complines: beta testing:

Myebook - Praying The Pattern: 1,00 reads

Well, I last reported on 23 June when I had notification of 500 reads.Myebook - Praying The Pattern, Well, a couple of weeks down the line and it's up to 1000 reads.

Imagination's power

As a some-time life coach, it's intriguing to see something that has at least anecdotal evidence to support it now has a fig-leaf of scientific respectibility: "'an idea that has long been espoused by motivational speakers, sports psychologists, and John Lennon alike: The imagination has the extraordinary capacity to shape reality.'" It's about imagining yourself doing things successfully helping to improve your success rate.

I think I'd relate this to a couple of things theologically: one is the Lord's prayer, the final clause about 'not into temptation', if prayed imaginatively (as I encourage in my book on the prayer) then this would seem to indicate that it could activate a psychological mechanism which would aid the prayist -leaving aside any divine help.n So that's maybe worth considering further.

The other thing would be the connection to language and imagination borne out of reflecting on Genesis 2 and blogged elsewhere this blog ('homo loquens').

Power Of Imagination Is More Than Just A Metaphor:

St Patrick’s defends sale of rosaries

I noted this little item last week, Church Times - St Patrick’s defends sale of rosaries: "ANGLICANS in Ireland have defended the Roman Catholic Church and the sale of rosary beads in St Patrick’s, the Anglican National Cathedral in Dublin."
As predictable, it's defending the sale from protestants of the 'Pope=antichrist' school of thinking, presumably on the basis of the Marian nature of the normal use of the rosary. However, it can be used other ways, such as my own adaptation of it into a way of praying through the Lord's prayer and scripture. I'm hoping to publish a book provisionally entitled 'A Book of our Common Prayer' which would have Lord's prayer liturgies and further ways of praying the Gospel Prayer including using a rosary.

A Lord's Prayer spirituality?

I've just re-read some initial thoughts on this over at Abbey Nous. It'd be great to get further thoughts and comments.
Abbey Nous: Towards a Lord's prayer spirituality

Filed in: prayer, Lord's_prayer, spirituality